mga wentong walang wenta: Happiness is not an option. It’s a choice.

As for what happiness means, it is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.

A child.

When I was a child, my step dad used to give us Php1.00 every time he comes home after work. I bought candies, junk foods, and the like. I thought that was just what happiness means. I get and I ate what I want.

A teenager.

As I entered the teenage life, it changes. If I’ll be able to go to college, then I’ll be the happiest ordinary teenage girl dreaming to finish college. Since we have a problem financially, I still dreamt of going to one of the college schools. I took up UPCAT. And luckily, I was able to pass the exam. But maybe, for some instances, there are a lot of hindrances. So I wasn’t able to pursue going to UP Iloilo. Instead I went to UC-Main. But still, my college life didn’t worked out. I had a friend who let me join her to work in an internet café. So I work there as an attendant. With Php150.00/day. For me it means a lot of happiness.

I fell in love.

I fell in love for the first time. Happy. But I don’t have the word contentment. So I had my first heartbreak. I thought happiness would leave me alone.

Entered Corporate World.

But when I entered the Corporate World of business. Everything changes. At first I only earned Php180/day as an Encoder Staff (Since I haven’t finished college). I thought, wow! This is amazing. I am now earning. A lot. Another meaning of happiness for me. I was promoted as Accounting Staff and later on as a Finance Supervisor.

Fell In love for the second time.

But I fell in love for the second time. It was the worst day. The worst thing. I gave up my work (My work is one of my happiness). I went to Manila to fix everything. Since we had a long distance affair. But still it didn’t worked.

Moving On.

Since then, I continue my life. I moved on. Good thing I was able to find a job in Makati. But I don’t have any contentment yet. Something’s missing.

New Man.

Until one day. This one man I met. He was the typical “Bolero”. And for once. I fall in love. I thought everything will be perfect. Everything will fall into the right places. And So I just thought.

I got pregnant.

And for the past 22 years of my life, I had finally felt the real meaning of happiness and contentment. I had brought to life a real angel. My little Maria Krishna Gianna. She changed my life. Not to mention the harsh thing that was done to me. But since the father of my baby told me it was all over. I tried to forget what had happened.

I got married.

Atlast. I got married to the father of my baby. We had it secretly done. We doesn't want to have any appointment's again.

Pains.

We had a lot of issues which wasn’t solved yet. It was really painful. We tried to talk but it got worst.

Happiness. Pleasant. Contentment.

I asked myself. What are the things that could give me happiness and contentment? And this was all that entered through my mind:

To live with my little angel alone with me.
To walk through life with my baby.
To have a peaceful mind with my baby.
To go somewhere on where I could forget the pain.
To be with someone who could understand what I’m going through.
To talk to someone who could enlighten my mind.

The Big Boss.

And I realize. All I need is God. The big boss up there. I need Him more than anyone else. I prayed harder. Until no more tears would love to fall down.

Selflessness.

I was just thinking of my own happiness. What about my little angel’s happiness? What if one day she asks for an explanation on what had happened? Am I strong enough to explain to her that all I want is just the real happiness and a peaceful mind away from those people who caused me pain? Since I love my baby that much. I decided to hold on still to our family.

Own Family.

This is not what I thought of raising a family. But still, I am trying to bring happiness to my own family. As long as I have my man and my angel, I may face the future with confidence and full of hopes.

Future Plans.